Marriage is wonderful yet challenging, regardless of the circum-stances. Usually the most intimate and important relationship in a person’s life, marriage can also be a source of tremendous stress if the spouses are not on the same page. Marriage works best when husbands and wives live together. After all, this was God’s plan for marriage from the very beginning.
The Holy Bible states: “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”
Actually what is the structure of and function of marriage? There should be a male and a female in the marriage, and that they should be together to provide companionship and support each other.
It is very difficult to have a good marriage if the spouses are away from each other for long periods of time. Since marriages, like most other relationships, are either growing or dying, for a marriage relation to grow it is critical that spouses constantly interact with each other, not simply by artificial means such as telephone, Skype, or other electronic means. Rather, it is important that people who are married to each other be able to embrace and be physically connected to each other on a regular basis.
Since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and likewise each woman with her own husband. This leads us to believe that since most adults naturally experience the need for physical intimacy, and it is preferable for human adults to be married so that they may have legitimate access to intimate physical fulfillment. We should not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, and then come together again so that we will not be tempted because of our lack of self-control.
Married couples should prayerfully consider whether God can be pleased and honored by their living away from each other on a regular basis and for long periods of time. In different parts of the world, many have shared with us that the reason for this temporary arrangement is usually for better job opportunities and stronger financial realities for their families. However, these prospects cannot deny the negative impact living apart has on most marriages. So each couple contemplating living apart needs to seriously consider the consequences of this choice, and whether it is worth it for their families in the long run.
Your question is truly paradoxical. We don’t believe it is possible to continue to have a good marriage and live in a different country than your spouse for several months or years at a time. Therefore, we encourage you to have a serious conversation with your spouse about your current living arrangements.
Honor your marriage and be faithful. There is solution for every problem under the sun. Together you can solve the difficulties that you encounter.
-By Willie and Elaine Oliver